I have a follower!

It appears I have a follower! Usually I am the one who follows people so it will make a pleasant change to be stalked. Stalking people can be very uncomfortable work at times....I have spent many long hours standing in peoples gardens in the pouring rain hoping to catch a glimpse of them through their bedroom window. I am hoping that my follower is female (I have had my fill of over enthusiastic men propositioning me for the use of my body as a sex tool). Now that I think about it...there was a shifty looking female following me the other day. I was aimlessly wandering around the ladies underwear department in Debenhams and every time I looked behind me she was there. I thought maybe she was a store detective (I've had several run ins with them in the past - most notably that time in Ann Summers when I was accused of attempting to steal a large tub of lubricant. I thought it was hair gel at first but when I read the label closely I discovered it was for something else entirely. I must've dropped it into my manbag by mistake). Then as I was driving home in my car I noticed that someone on a motorbike was following my car. I tried to lose them a few times but to no avail (I took a 17 mile detour via every back road in the area to try and shake them off). I have heard about these motorcycle molestors - they're very persistant apparently, a bit like that Terminator fella on the telly (I am hoping it was a female terminator). they have been known to follow a victim until their fuel tank runs dry and even then they often continue on foot. Anyway - I will be leaving my front door unlocked and will dress scantily just in case they do decide to enter my premises (in more ways than one). If my follower does happen to read this blog then can I just say...please be gentle with me (to begin with anyway) and try not to scare my donkeys with your big noisy motorbike.

I wish myself luck

Richard